Twenty Goblin Fruits

Goblin fruit grows in the Feywild and the Hedge that seperates it from the world of humans.  Whithin these hypnagogic realms, there are millions of varieties of local flora ready to bring ruin or respite for anyone willing to pick them, but because of the dangers involved, and the mercurial nature of the lands of the Fair Folk, attempts to catalogue them have proven futile.

Here are some goblin fruits that your players might find in faerie realms or other magical verdant places.  5th Edition D&D rules are given, but hopefully it’s a hop, skip, and a jump to port them over to Changeling or any other system you please.

1: Small pink eggplants growing singly on a creeping vine; the vine’s leaves have holes through their centers. Creamy, tangy taste, like kefir.  When you eat it: each eggplant heals 1d12 and incubates 2d20 lavender gutslugs (cause vomiting in 1d10 hours, but the slugs themselves can substitute for a day’s food if you can stomach a DC 16 Con check).

2: Yellowgreen/greenbrown warty gourd the size and general shape of a papaya. Colorful, watery sap inside.  The flavors of both the inside and the sap are random, but both always fade into a soapy overripe-banana aftertaste.  When you eat it: The sap acts as a random potion (shelf life of 30 seconds, so drink it quick). The flesh of the gourd transforms your saliva into a paralyzing contact poison (DC 15 Con), which causes your tongue to swell and loll out of your mouth.

3: What looks like an almond sprouting rubbery leaves and a blue flower. Almond tastes buttery and nutty, flower tastes cool and ever-so-slightly fizzy. The leaves are inedibly bitter and weird. When you eat it: Eating the flower sharpens mental accuity and provides advantage on your next Wisdom save. Eating the almond greases your joints and provides advantage on your next Dex save. Eating both diffuses your body and mind into a blur for two hours (15% miss chance incoming and outgoing, can’t maintain concentration spells).

4: A leafy herb, grows in witch’s brooms and other plant cankers. Tiny red or blue pores dot the leaves. These are prepared by brewing them as tea; complex, salty anise and basil flavor. When you eat it: Red pore leaves provide the benefits of a short rest, and ants love you now. Blue pore leaves cause paranoia and let you use your reaction to move half your speed, as long as you move away from all Small or larger creatures, for 3 hours.

5: A string of red daisies on a single stalk, up to six stalks per plant. Pleasantly peppery, but with lots of little flavorless seeds. When you eat it: You have a 10% chance per round of combat to spontaneously drop one of your limbs; the limbs still work and can be reattached with a full-round action. Effect lasts for the next 1d4 encounters.

6: Mouthlike pink and white flower, like a coconut meringue in texture and flavor, on a coiled stalk emerging from a shell of fibrous leaves.  When you eat it: For the next eight hours, you can only speak by shouting, but you can echolocate by shouting. All spells you cast require only verbal components, except for material components 100gp or over in value.

7: Stem forms an arc, connecting two black thistley fruits underground. Fruits taste like slightly burnt toast; stem has astringent green flavor that prickles the tongue and cheeks. When you eat it: Eating the fruit increases your mass; you’re slowed but can’t be moved by outside forces. Eating the root, indistinguishable from the fruit, does the opposite.  They cancel each other out if eaten together.  Eating the stem causes dangerous sweating (risk of dehydration, pheromones everywhere).

8: White mushroom, purple & blue spots, with a rich minty/earthy flavor.  Degrades into a slimy consistency and manure-like flavor if cooked.  When you eat it: You can hear everything talking until your next meal. (Ever sat down and chatted with your gut flora? now’s your chance.)

9: A seemingly ordinary green bell pepper that tastes like roasted peanuts; it’s full of honey with a weird sour beer aftertaste. When you eat it: You gain proficiency with all skills for 30 mins, then belch a swarm of bees (1d10 dmg/round, try their best to flee combat) and lose proficiency with all skills for 10 mins.

10: Hairy, spongy, red fruit in clumps of five on long stems. The grainy yellow paste inside has a sour, slightly rancid taste. When you eat it: You emit light depending on heart rate (higher heart rate = more light).

11: 3-foot diameter pumpkin with red & yellow spots; can appear in green, cream, or orange. Regardless, the flesh has a mellow, savory-sweet butternut flavor.  When you eat it: You’re cured of poison and disease, but only if you eat the whole fruit in one sitting.  Hope you’re hungry.

12: Screwpine, explodes when picked; DC 15 Dex save or 1d6 damage from skewers. Sporting a creamy, spicy lime flavor, the fibrous skewers can be chewed all day long or tenderized for quick consumption.  When you eat it: Each skewer heals 1d6; each skewer after the first forces a DC 5 Con check +5 per skewer eaten; on a failed save, you polymorph into a local prey animal in 10 mins for 1 year.

13: A cage of black briars surrounding a succulent the shape and color of a rose; smells like a strawberry-cantaloupe hybrid. Will attempt to escape tumbleweed-style from any attempts at picking. When you eat it: If properly prepared by muddling a leaf of the succulent in water, charms everyone you speak to for an hour. If eaten raw, kicks your mucosal glands into overdrive.

14: Sparse orange and light blue curly filaments growing like lichen on other plants; used as a seasoning, adds a meaty flavor. When you eat it: Causes trichotillomania for ten minutes; your hair keeps growing as you pull it. A handful of hair, properly extracted and cut, acts as a silk rope, useful in mundane and magical ropework.

15: Indistinguishable from the dismembered corpse of a halfling; when ripe, the head pulls right off and contains three servings of bright pink tutti-frutti-flavored mush. When you eat it: Each serving heals 2d8 and acts as lesser restoration, or can reattach limbs if used as an adhesive. If you have any cannibalism compunctions (any at all), even thinking about picking or eating the fruit forces a DC 20 Con check to avoid revulsion.

16: Saucer-sized fruits with a soft star shape and functional buttons in the center (twist ’em off, sew ’em on).  They grow in clusters of various pastel colors, and they smell and taste like bananas foster. When you eat it: +2 enhancement bonus to a random ability score for 5 minutes. Every fruit eaten after the first targets a new score and has a cumulative 20% chance to purge all buffs and leave you nauseated unable to cast spells for twenty minutes.

17: Cluster of wrinkly blue-black shells encasing small off-white fruits that look like husk cherries.  The fruits shoot off the cluster when PCs pass (DC 13 Dex to catch in the mouth). The fruits have a tannic plum flavor, and the shells make dark, malty tea when brewed. When you eat it: If caught in the mouth, produces giddiness and freedom of movement through the Hedge/Feywild until you’re being pursued or until your next rest. Shell tea grants advantage on Stealth checks and checks made to find goblin fruit for 30 mins. If eaten off the ground or the cluster, no unusual effect.

18: Carnivorous weed with a functional web-like flower that catches bugs and small faeries; red-edged, saw-toothed leaves.  The web, when properly prepared by wadding into a ball and pan-frying, has a crackly, chewy texture and combines flavors of trapped prey with flavors of other ingredients.  The leaves have sweet mesquite flavor. When you eat it: Until the next rest, you must make periodic DC 13 Charisma saves (whenever the GM calls for one) to maintain your usual shape. Success by 5 or more grants you limited control of your shape for 1 min. The leaves prevent you from speaking the truth until your palette is cleansed with something strong, or until the next long rest.

19: Black, dried-up lotus pods with light green seeds and plain white trumpet-shaped flowers, both emerging from green stalks above broad, shiny leaves with intricate veins.  The root below is a mess of tangles and requires thorough cleaning or washing, and tastes like spiced chicken. The seeds need to be picked out with skewers or chopsticks and have a light sweet flavor when popped like popcorn. When you eat it: The roots heal 1d4 per serving but are addictive; for every serving after the first, if you’re traveling in a group, the hit points the roots heal are deducted from the other members of your  group (spread evenly). The seeds remove 1 level of exhaustion per eater per plant. If a flower is held to the ear and a seedless pod is spoken into, anyone else with a pod/flower pair from the same plant can communicate back, as with sending stones, until the flower wilts.

20: Chestnut-like seeds in a shell of fuzzy maroon-black burrs that cling to the party’s clothes. The plant they came from is nowhere to be seen. Eaten raw, they have a milky flavor; roasted, they taste like hearty sweet bread. When you eat it: Raw or roasted, these seeds heal for 5 hit points each. If returned to the material plane unroasted and planted under the light of a full moon, one of them will germinate and grow into a Tree of Splendors, which produces every mundane fruit known to civilization and reflects the health of the world’s magic in its own health.